I think we’ve all had many emotions these last few months, from anger, isolation, frustration, sadness to feeling totally overwhelmed. I look around and wonder ‘what in the world is going on? or why am I feeling like I need to get something done, but no idea what?’

Often this is due to an unexpected call from a friend stating, ‘did you know?’ And, of course when the surprise, sadness or deafening shame of not being able to be there for another overwhelms me. I don’t want to feel this way, I want to truly be able to offer support, both emotional and social, be there with them at the time of tragedy, happiness or overwhelming stress.

I begin to notice the feelings most often expressed by others or me that of feeling overwhelmed. Not enough hours in the day nor minutes in the hour to get through those ‘things that need to get done’. We all feel lost at times, trying to accomplish what? Are these items so small compared to others that we have put them off? Is this the time to tackle getting the pictures in a photo album that only you will look at? Or the time to go through all the boxes in the attic or garage that wait for only one holiday? Or, maybe, items that are in stuck in a closet for a future project?

Slowing down and considering what is going on in our lives and what is important to us individually makes a difference. It helps us focus on the ‘important’ emotions and needs/desires we have for our present and future.

Let’s hope our future is a good one.

This time of year is when we all come together and wish each other well, or try to.  What happens when, during a family gathering, old resentments and hurt feelings are suddenly just there?  Can we escape? Is seeing another person the end of our desire to be with others and enjoy talking, doing?  Yes, this does happen.  To me, to the person next to me, etc.  It doesn’t happen all the time, and I’m glad I don’t focus on this most of the year.  But November and December are difficult months for those of us who have had overwhelming emotional upheaval (death of a significant other, move, trauma, chronic pain, loss)  this past year.  The ‘family’ gatherings that are a focal point of most celebrations carry sadness, isolation and fear.

Our families may be made of siblings, parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews, etc. or of those people who are not relatives (friends, neighbors, community members). Are we certain of fitting in to either picture.  What if we do not? Is the feeling of isolation one that we must endure?

The question is, do you push yourself and suggest to others who seem to be part of the isolated to join you?  Or, do you avoid those who appear to be alone? Do we have that type of courage?

It comes down to the choice – do we feel better when we give of ourselves, or do we feel better when accepting an offer?  I have been in both situations.  And, I enjoy the giving of myself,  and my time.  I receive greater emotional satisfaction when I have made someone else’s life a bit better.  And what I have done may not be noticeable to many, but it’s made a difference to me.

That’s what we hope for.  That we mean something to another, we have an emotional support or bond with another.  This makes us human, and one of those who receive gratification at the holiday time of year.

I’ve often wondered if people were to look back on their lives, how they went through the day, how they treated others who they came into contact with –  those questions asked, answered, wondered about, etc, would it be as a positive or negative influence on others in their world? Do I need to make a difference?  Or do I need to maintain and adjust to the world around me?  Am I a square peg in a round hole, or do I fit with what I do and identify with? I don’t know!  But I do think about these questions and wonder if it is a sign of age or a thought process that comes with realizing wanting and needing are totally different.

And what of those big choices – is it ever decided which is the right path to live a life?  Do I reach out to a different interest area group to discover if I want to go further, or do I stay in my comfort zone? Choices are hard.  The concern we are treading into the unknown is scary but the option may make life so much better, adding to a life of great enjoyment.

Do we want to make a difference in the world, influence others? Or, follow and let others pave the way.  It takes ‘guts’, that unexpected feeling of fear mixed with delight in exploring the new next step, to move from the steady stream that is our life path.

These are really, really tough questions.  They bring up the past memories of our lives, how we remember them, the emotions we felt, the choices we made.  It may be that we have yet to reach a goal, or it may have passed us by.

What I want, when I look back is a feeling that I did well, and am satisfied with many of my choices. I may leave the sad parts of my life in a fog of memory, difficult to find, but I hope to find a sense of wonder and delight in those moments of pure happiness. This is definitely OK.